Sure I'll Break the Law just for you

Got a call the other day. From the "clinic co-ordinator" at the local hospital. Seems we filled a prescription with a generic drug when the doctor requested brand. I immediately put her on hold, got out the rx we had filled and checked.

Nope, no "no substitution" ont his rx. Hmmm, I held it up to the light. There WAS, however a preprinted phrase under the sticker with the patient name and address...yup. says "no substitution"

However, law in my region states that"no substitution must be handwritten on the prescription. Preprinted prescription forms or boxes that are checed off do not constitute a valid no substitution request"

Besides, the ass that signed the rx put a sticker over the preprinting anyway, so anyone with half a brain would figure it's not to apply to the rx, right?

I picked up the phone and smugly told the "clinic co-ordinator" the above facts. She tried to argue with me. I cut her off and said it doesn't matter what you want, this is the way it is.

What a way to start the day.

Gotcha!

Today I had a "frequent flyer" irritate me. I was covering a shift for a colleage when the man came in. I recognized him as a dsi (drug seeking individual) from previous encounters, although I couldn't quite place at what store.

The technician came over and told me that the regular pharmacist will not sell Tylenol 1's (acetaminophen with 8mg codeine) to this man anymore. I looked over and saw that he was talking on his cell phone. I told the tech that when the fool stops blabbing into his cell phone, call me over and I will give him the bad news.

Ten minutes pass. He is still standing at the counter talking to his cellphone. the tech got irritated, went over and said that the pharmacist wanted to talk to him and wouldn't if he was going to keep talking to his cellphone. Idjit hangs up.

I went over and informed him that I wasn't selling him any T1's. He started hooting and hollering about "why not, I have had 5 surgeries, I'll drop my pants right here and show you the scars" etc... I informed him I wasn't interested and he should leave now. He then freaked out about how he was going to call the Medical Board and report me yadda yadda. I was quite entertained. Especially as it's not the Medical Board he needs to complain to, it's the College of Pharmacy. And this particular complaint would get him laughed out of town. After all, I don't have to sell him a chocolate bar, never mind T1's!

He kept ranting. I repeated that I didn't care what his excuse was and walked away.

He wandered around the store for another 10 minutes and then left.

Afterwards, I realized where I had seen this fool before. At another store, in a nearby town, in a fucking wheelchair getting his Oxycontin. On the taxpayer's dime. AND he called the store after he picked up his damned Oxycontin and claimed we had shorted him. Except, of course, we had counted his pills multiple times and knew he got the right quantity. We told him too damn bad, he could get the next batch in 2 weeks, since that was what the doctor ordered.

So, I have one burning question. Since he is on welfare, how could he afford a cellphone?

another thing....

So, the computer generated prescription that makes it easy to read? It also makes it easy for the doctor to repeat mistakes. Had an rx for morphine today. Read: Morphine 30mg sr 1 tab tid. Turns out the woman takes 2 tabs tid. And she was really pissed at us because "we" made the same mistake last time. Ranted about how she never had this problem at her "old" pharmacy.

folks,t he pharmacy I was at today was a large chain discount pharmacy. If it had been a regular one, I would have offered to fix the problem after calling the doctor and deliver it. But it wasn't. she came here because it was cheap. Lady, your doctor screwed up on the last prescriptiion on the computer and then just copied it over again for the new one. Including the mistake. It is NOT us that fucked up, it was your doctor. I'm sorry it inconveniences you. But I have to dispense it as written. I can get it fixed. But it is after business hours, so it will have to wait till tomorrow. Deal with it.

Oh My!

Apparently, our counter espionage service employs drug addicted people. I had a client who is on disability (and boy is he disabled!) confide in me that "they" want him to go on medical marijuana,but he doesn't want to because it would jeopardize his security clearance at his job with the agency.

Interesting. Especially as I was talking to doctor's office staff and they told me he asked for medical marijuana.

What do you think? Secret agent? Or stupid druggie?

No wonder there are med administration errors!

Today I had a guy pickingup his wife's Fragmin. It is an injectable. One we usually order. we had 1 syringe.
We gave him that one and I told him,"here's one to get her started, the other 4 will be in tomorrow".
Him: wha??
Me: pick up the rest tomorrow.
Him:Wha?
Me: come back tomorrow
Him: Wha??
Me: get your wife to call us

Patient number 2 comes in. directions on the antibiotic say,"Take 2 tabs daily"
I bring it out to counsel the patient. (a 20 something female)
me: Take 2 pills together once a day
she:1 pill two times a day.
me: No. Take 2 pills a day. Together (I stressed that word)
she: Yeah, 1 pill twice a day.
me: NO, 2 pills at the same time, 24 hours apart.
she:okay, 1 pill every 12 hours.
me: NO. Take them together. At the same time. Once. A. Day.
she: oh, okay.

I know she is going to do it wrong. But I can't be there to hold her hand 24/7!

Patient number 3: I'd like to fill this rx for my son.
me: (looking at prescription) Hmmm, this dose dose not exist, I'll have to call the doctor.
she:okay, I have to go to the store, I'll be back.
Me: (thinking Halleluja) See you in a bit.

I called the doctor, corrected the incorrect dose the intern had written for and filled it. She came back to pick it up.
she: we are waiting on a throat swab for my son. The results won't be back till tomorrow to tell us if this is strep. Can he just start it now?
me: no. You are more likely to develop resistance..yadda..yadda(you all know the story, right?)
she: even if it is just one day?
me: yes.

patient 4:
Wife comes in to get new prescription for Crestor for her husband. I fill it, note that he had just gotten Lipitor 3 days ago.
Me:I see your husband just got some Lipitor. Is he still taking it?
she: I don't know
me: do you know if it is the same doctor?
she: Yes it is, let me call him. (whips out a cellphone) "honey are you still taking your Lipitor? ....Hmmm....here, talk to the pharmacist"
me: are you still taking Lipitor?
him: yes.
me: did the doctor tell you to take them both?
him: yes
me:that is very unusual
him:I used to take 2 different pills.
me:possibly, but it wouldn't be these particular 2. Let me call your doctor and I will call you back.

I call the doctor after reviewing his file and confirming, in fact, that it was 2 different doctors.
me: Mr. XXX is here and he tells me he is still taking Lipitor. Did you want him on Lipitor and Crestor?
dr: He told me he wasn't taking the Lipitor anymore! Tell him to not take the Lipitor!
me: thank you. good bye.

So, I saved a life (possibly) today!
but really, is it supposed to be that difficult?

Why Are We All Still Alive?

Hmm. It appears that we have been innocently poisoning our babies with..gasp..cold medication!

Come on. Does the FDA etc have nothing better to do? I mean, those of us in the know, KNOW that these medications do practically diddly, but deathly? Please. If that were the case, then all of us would have died as infants when our parents unknowingly fed us these deadly, useless medications.

Why haven't the babies been dropping like flies for 30 years? Because the medication isn't dangerous. The PARENTS who od the kids are the dangerous ones. And not many parentl do that.

Sheesh

Vote for Someone Else Then.

Awright. I have had just about enough whinging from the seniors in my practice. It seems like none of them remember the fact that once a year, for the past 14 years or so, they have a $100 deductible for the government drug plan. Hell, I had one who claimed that they didn't have a drug plan. But they did. The government one. Now if they were willing to pay cash instead of using the government plan, I would be ecstatic. That means that the pharmacy would get a decent profit AND my taxes would be able to go a little farther.

That was not to be. Idjit just didn't want to comply with government rules. It seems that all the seniors in my town think that all the pharmacies are trying to rip them off. Because we want them to pay the damned deductible. If you don't like the deductible, then vote someone into office that will repeal it. Although, I doubt you will have much luck. The government likes ways to keep my hard earned cash in it's pockets. Not to mention the fact that deductibles did not come up once in a recent election, that I heard of.

People, just pay whatever I tell you is owing. I don't have time or patience to explain for hte thousandth time something that you should know. That you do know.

Pay a Little Attention Folks

Today was the day of crappy prescription writing. There was the doctor who changed his mind about the directions midstream and scribbled on top of what he already wrote. Thereby rendering the directions illegible.

There was the doctor who prescribed controlled meds that the patient shouldn't need yet. Once contacted the doctor gave a reasonable explanation and the rx was finally filled.

Then there was the doctor who wrote for a compounded cream, but chose the wrong ingredient on their computer software drop-down menu, thus creating a prescription for a 50% hydrocortisone cream. (normal is around 1%). This office took an extra long lunch today. Left me on hold for 15 minutes when they finally got back and then took another 20 minutes to clarify the prescription. The whole time the client was staring me down. I tried suggesting to her to go do something else. (anything else!) but no, the client wanted to stand there and stare at me. I hate that.

Then a doctor faxed in a prescription for a refill for a client. With the wrong directions. Or at least, directions that were different than the last time. So I had to re-fax back the prescription with a request for dosage clarification. As it happened, I was right. The directions should not have been different.

Oh, and my local druggie called to say he was out of his Percocet and could I "just give him a few" to get him through to his next doctor appointment. I waited till I hung up the phone to laugh at him.

You want WHAT???

I got a call today. Person on the phone wanted an over-the-counter mole removal method or system. When I told him that mole removal was best done by a medical proffessional, he told me that it was "elective and I don't have $600".

I felt like telling him that the most effective method was a really sharp knife. I didn't. But I wanted to. However, professional ethics won out and I told him that there was nothing of the sort available.

A few days before that, a woman wanted to buy some hydrochloric acid because her digestion was off and she read somewhere that she needed more of the acid in her stomach.....

DIN woes

To the makers of Fragmin...you blow! It's bad enough that the boxes of the different strengths are basically the same and only have a stripe of colour to distinguish them. But every strength has the same DIN. Which completely fucks up my computerized billing system. I spent 20 minutes wrestling with my system in order to get my cost reimbursed from ODB. I wound up having to bill for 11 packs to get paid for 3! Because some other idjit has locked up the drug info screen so that I can't adjust the price. Which is locked in at the price for one of the weaker doses. In other words, cheaper.

And the client needs this today. As in actually needs it, not just wants it. I don't have 3 days to wrestle the billing into submission.

The argument for the same DIN for all pack sizes is that it is the same drug in each strength of syringe. Just the quantity varies. As I recall, we had the same problem with insulin when the penfills came out in 1.5ml and 3ml. So the government assigned the 3ml a pseudo-din so that the billing would work. Why can't we do that? All pharmacists would thank you forever.

Dear Doctor

When you fax in a prescription for a narcotic, please make sure you sign it. If you are not going to sign it AND not respond to the fax I sent you politely asking for a signature, do you think it would be possible to put the correct phone number for your office on the damn prescription pad you faxed me?

I bothered some poor woman at home TWICE because you couldn't be bothered to check the new prescription pads for printing errors. Or maybe you are just cheap and figured you'd use them anyway. Which would be fine IF you scratched out the phone number.

While I was struggling with your stupid phone number fiasco to get the damn prescription done legally, your poor patient was sitting, or should I say drooping, in my waiting room, waiting for his much-needed pain meds. That is not good patient care.

Next time, it might be you waiting for your meds. And I probably won't be rushing to fill it ahead of the other poor sods in front of you.

3 days

You should still have 3 days left of your meds, lady. If not, I suggest you call your doctor to give you a tide-me-over prescription for your morphine. Waiting until tomorrow and calling the regular guy is not going to get you another answer....

Ick

Question asked while picking up a prescription,"Do you have any water based massage oil? I don't want to clog up my pores."

Some things, I don't need to know, buddy. I pointed him at the personal lubrication section which has some massage oils and went to wash my hands. Ick.

You want WHAT?

Today I had a lady come in who wanted to buy hydrochloric acid. when asked why, she said that she had "read in a book" that the reason she was getting stomach aches was because her hydrochloric acid levels were too low. She wanted to buy a bottle and drink it!

Oh. My. Gawd.

If that isn't a Darwin Award, I don't know what is!

Deductible

Today I had a lady that has a government sponsored drug plan. This plan calculates your deductible based on your income. Which, of course, I don't know.

I'm guessing shse has a fairly small deductible. Why would I guess that? Simply because the lady clearly has trouble grasping normal day to day facts. Trust me. I had to talk to her for 20 minutes. 20 wasted minutes.

At any rate, she called me from home after wasting 20 minutes of my time while she was in the store. She wanted to know what her deductible was because she wanted some pills. I tried to tell her I don't know what the deductible is. However, I could try to bill it to the drug plan and if her deductible was satisfied, the government website would say so. That's all it tells me though. Satisfied or not. No extra info whereby I could deduce her (or anyone's) income.

She couldn't grasp that. another wasted 10 minutes. Finally she decided to go back to whatever daytime soap opera she watches. Thank gawd

I wish people would realize that knowing their drug plan info is THEIR job. not mine. There is no way I can know what your drug plan deductible etc is. There are so many of them that it is impossible.

And I don't really care. Figure it out!

And There's 10 minutes I'll Never Get Back....

One of the local doctor's offices got a new voicemail system. There are many doctors on this system. When you call, your choices begin. "press one for Dr. Left, Right and Central, Press 2 for Dr. Red, Green or Blue..." this goes on and on. There are at least 3 of these menus you have to go through if you are unlucky and want Dr. Last-On-The-List. I ususally get pissed off and start pressing buttons at this point. After you have chosen your doctor, there are MORE choices.

"If you are a patient or calling on behalf of a patient press one...." This is usually the one I want. At which point there is ANOTHER fucking list. "For appointments press one, for the nurse press 2..." At which point I stab 2 and get her fucking machine becasue she is "away from her desk".

It literally takes me 10 minutes to get through this system just to leave a message like "I can't read the dose on john doe's rx of dammitol. Please call me at 555-5555"

And yet, if the doctor's office has to wait 30 seconds on hold to talk to a pharmacist, it's the end of the fucking world. What a piss off.

Well, Excuuuuuse Me!

Yesterday the store I was at recieved a call from a customer who was vacationing in the area. Apparently she had an outbreak of a nasty infection. She had called her doctor in her hometown and the doctor agreed to give her a prescription. HOWEVER, the doctor wanted the pharmacy to call her instead of the usual doctor-calls-pharmacy routine. Why? Because the doctor was too cheap to pay the 0.35$ a long distance call would have called. This happens all the time.

So, even though it was quite busy, I put down what I was doing in order to get this lady her prescription that she did indeed need badly. That is the only reason I would actually do this. I give a crap about my customers. At least, the ones who aren't trying to scam some Oxycontin etc... but I digress.

I called the doctors office, the receptionist answered and said "Can you hold please." I responded that I was calling long distance, so could she please not leave me on hold for too long? The subtext here is that I could call her back if it would be a while. She told me that she was on "another line" and I would HAVE to hold. Yeah, I know, but as a common courtesy, if the hold will be long, could she not say something, I thought? Anyhoo, she put me on hold. I decided I would give her 1 minute to come back. I pulled out my watch and started counting.

Happily, it only took her 37 seconds to get back to me. I explained who I was and did she have a prescription there for the lady? She went to look, found she did indeed have one and read it out to me. wonderful. We are getting somewhere and almost done! I can now go look after the 4 customers that have piled up at the counter waiting for me.

Or so I thought. This telephone answering person (I have demoted her from receptionist you will note) then proceeded to attempt to castigate me for stating that I was calling long distance. I told her that normally doctor's offices call ME, not the other way around. However, given the dire circumstances of the patient, I had made an exception. The phone lady then tried to say that we were all just trying to do our jobs and that she had 3 whole phone lines to answer! Cry me a river lady. Try counselling a patient while another one is trying to interrupt to "just ask a quick question" , the phone lines (all THREE of them) are ringing, the technician wants you to translate a prescription AND your bladder is about to explode because you haven't had time to take a potty break for 4 hours.

I told the woman that in actuality her job was to call me and thank you for your time good bye. I hung up on her.

The sad part is that the doctor is probably a very nice (if cheap) lady. Too bad her front office staff is a jackass.

Dumb Question of the Day

"I'm out of my Percocets. Can you just give me 10 or so to get me through?"

Really? You really think I would "just" give you some?

Riiiiight.

Where's my daquiri?

I Meant it!

When I asked you to call me before you wanted the rest of you rprescription I meant it! I remember the conversatuion we had. I said, and I quote "This is a 2 week supply. Call me when you need the rest of it. This way we can make sure you don't have a reaction to it. I will order it in special for you then."

What that means is I don't have it on my shelf. So if you come waltzing in looking for it, you're gonna hafta wait till the next order comes in tomorrow. too bad, so sad.

When I say something, it's for a reason, dumbass.

And that's 90 seconds of my life I won't get back.....

Listen up folks. You voicmail message is NOT cute. I don't want to waste 90 seconds listening to your dog bark it's way through "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" or any other "cute" message. Just state what number/person I have reached and leave it at that. I have waaaaay more things that I could be doing that are waaaaaay more fun. Like shoving a pen in my ear.

While I'm at it, big pharma insurance company? Your voice recognition system sucks. It NEVER recognizes my voice. Or my technician's voice, or the cashier's voice. We actually spent a quiet evening playing "can you get the right extension" on your voicemail. What was amazing was that no-one got the right extension ONCE. What a time-waster. Of course, we were looking to kill some time that night, so I guess there is a silver lining.

I am a Technical genius.

It always amazes me how dumb some people can be about technology and computers. And they work with them every day. I could forgive you if you never really touched one, but if you work with a computer and printer on a daily basis, some things should be obvious.

Like when the print quality sucks. The first thing you should do is pull out the toner cartridge to see if something is obviously wrong, right? Nope. What you do is call technical support and hold the phone while listening to the muzac version of "Innagoddavida" for 45 minutes.

I came in for my shift once to the above scenario. So, I pull out the print cartridge. Voila! A label has somehow peeled off the paper and stuck to the cartridge. I peel said label off, do a test print....and it WORKS! Problem solved.

Of course that means the above individual has to go back to work instead of just standing there.....

Then there is the "I can't read the doctor's signature" dodge. Often there is a phone number or licence number. If it is a licence number, then the answer is easy, go to the college of physicians and surgeons website, go to their search engine, type in the number and the doctor's name magically appears. The phone number thing means you actually have to pick up the phone and call the number, but even if it is after hours there is almost always a machine that says "You have reached Dr. Idont Workweekends if you have a medical emergency please go to the nearest emergency room. Please note you need an appointment for prescription renewals...bla bla bla". This means that you still can get the doctor's name from the message.

I often fax in a copy of the prescription to the doctors office when I need clarification of something. Even if it is after hours. Many times there is still someone in the office clearing up paperwork even though they are not answering the phone. And they call me back with the answer even though it is technically after hours. This way I can finish the prescription and not have it hanging over my head until the next business day.

Even if they don't give me an answer right away because there really IS no-one there, it is STILL not hanging over my head. The question has been communicated, now I just have to wait.

Now that is how one uses ones technical know-how to get the job done.

Drug Plan Etiquette

Listen up folks. I'm tired of screw-ups and more work because of your stupidity regarding your drug plan.

1. If you have a new card, BRING IT IN. I cannot just guess what the new numbers/company is/are. My crystal ball is not that good. If it were do you think I'd be working here?

2. If you have a drug plan, tell me BEFORE I do up the prescriptions. It DOES NOT work like your maxed-out credit card. I don't just swipe it through some reader. I have to go back into the computer, cancel your prescriptions, add the drug plan, rebill the prescription, change the days supply bacause it turns out that your cheap-o drug plan only pays for 1 month at a time,resubmit THAT, get the okay from the drug plan, pull open the bag your already done prescriptions were in, re-count your prescription to the quantity paid for by your plan, re-label everything, change the receipts out and then you can have your Percocet.

3. If your drug plan has cancelled you, tell me so I don't waste my time and yours trying to put the billing through the drug plan. And if you were fired from your minimum wage burger-flipping job, your drug plan won't work. I know it's inconvenient for you to have to pay for your Oxycontin, but them's the breaks. Besides, you can re-sell them on the street for a profit. Oh wait, you already knew that, didn't you? That's why you were willing to pay cash when it turned out your plan was indeed cancelled.

4.Don't just hand me a drug plan card and walk away. I need information. Like your birthday. Like if it's your plan. Like if it's your spouse's plan. I need to know if you are a girl or a boy. I know it seems obvious, but believe me, it ain't always!

5. Don't blame me if your name should have been spelled Giamyelli and not Jameylee. How the hell would I know? You momma just stuck some random letters together and "created" your name. In the mistaken idea that an unusual name would make you more interesting. You're not. And if the drug plan has screwed up your "unique and beautiful" name? Yeah, they ain't gonna pay for your Valium. Not something I can fix. It is your responsibility to check the damn paperwork they send you to make sure they got it right.

6. If your drug plan has a deductible, that means you have to pay that part of the cost. It's not a number I pull out of my ass. Again, check the fucking paperwork, it will tell you what that is.

7. No, you may not take the other prescription that doesn't have a deductible on it because the drug plan charged the deductible to the first prescription. I will have to cancel BOTH prescriptions and yada yada see #2. And then the deductible will be charged to the prescription you do want (your Tylenol #3's. Shocking). So you sill still have to pay it.

8. You may not bill your Demerol to the plan twice in a week when it was supposed to last you a month. You can pay cash and sell it on the street as in #3.

Thank you for your time
Have a nice fucking day

Information Booth

Today I had 2 different sets of people walk into my pharmacy to get directions. Why would you go to a pharmacy to get directions? Why not the UPS store next door? Why not the restaurant in the same strip mall?

One of the people didn't even have an address. They were looking for "a chiropractor". They didn't have an address or even the chiropractor's name! I picked a chiropractor and sent them on their way. Don't know if it's the right one. There are 3 or 4 of them resonably close to the pharmacy. Don't really care if it's the right one either. Maybe they should have called the office and asked where they were. Or is that too easy?

Either way, I don't know why people think a pharmacy is a good place to ask for directions. And I find it annoying that I have to stop what I am doing and be polite to them. They never even buy a pack of gum either.

Information?

I got a phone call today asking for information. Nope, not info about a medication or anything. They wanted the phone number of a store near us in the mall. Why would you call a pharmacy for that info? Do I look like a telephone info service? Never mind that clearly this person is a frequent flier in this store, judging from the slurred speech. At 10:33am.

I am used to giving out info. Just not info that you can get by calling the telephone operator. Oh wait, THAT'S why I was called. The phone company charges you if you are too lazy to look up the number in your phone book! She was hoping I'd pull out MY phone book and look up the number for her. All in the name of customer service. Give me a break!

To all the lazy people out there, your pharmacist is not a customer service desk. We are a very specialized information service. If your question has nothing to do with health or drugs or even herbs (both legal and illegal ones) then don't call me. If you want to know what happens if you smoke jimson weed or oregano, that would be an okay question. After all, it is vaguely pharmaceutically related and would provide me with some entertainment. Not mention blog fodder.....

Yes, I am a pharmacist

Dear office monkey, yes, I, the pharmacist, actually answered the phone. Do not assume that because of that fact that I am NOT a pharmacsit. Just because the doctor you work for will not demean himself to such menial tasks as answering phones does not mean the rest of the world is like that.

Clearly his business is not dependent on good customer service. I answered the phone because I happened to be free and the tech was already helping a client.

It is okay to ask "is this the pharmacist?". It is NOT okay to say, "I don't need you to get the pharmacist for this. " As you already have the pharmacist and I find your attitude lacking in respect.

Time Whirlpool

As in time-sucking customer. Please, please, do not spread all of your meds all over the counter to figure out what you are getting. Do not get pissed off at me when your drug plan says you should have another 63 days of your meds and won't pay for another supply yet. Do not compare every med with what you THINK you remember at home while taking up all of my counter space and denying the other customers standing right behind you any kind of decent service. Do not argue with me when I tell you that your plan will only pay for the generic (ie cheaper) drug and if you want the brand name you have to pay. Them's the breaks.



While I'm at it, also do not walk out of my store and then come back in 10 minutes to ask me the same questions you just finished asking me. Ask your wife. She was standing next to you the whole time. Even if you have no memory because of all the sedative and nerve pills you are on, she isn't and remembers all of it.



Please just GO AWAY!

You want me to do what????

Listen lady, your daughter is out of repeats on all 3 meds. No, it is not MY fault. Your daughter is 18 and legally an adult. YOU are her mommy. Why on earth should I keep track of her meds???? I will fax the doctor for the refills, IF you are filling them in my store. I will NOT then take the authorizations and fax them to your new pharmacy in another town because that is where you now live. Why should I do all this extra work when you are taking your business elsewhere? In fact, why should I HELP you take your business elsewhere? Get your new pharmacy to call.



You have never been nice to me. You have always been exceedingly rude to my staff. You are now being rude to me because you are too damn lazy to call your doctor yourself to see why the repeats have not been faxed to your new pharmacy. How the hell should I know what is going on in your doctor's office? Do I look omniscient? 'Cause if I was, I wouldn't be listening to you bitch on the phone!



Face it, you have never given me a single reason to be helpful. And now you are giving me more reasons to hang up on you.



Bye

Thank you

As an anodyne to the whininess of the last couple of posts, here is today.


Thank you customer for calling hours ahead of time to ask me to prepare your rx BEFORE you showed up at my counter. It is actually already done, because the doctor called it in yesterday and since it was a new dose, we figured you'd be wanting it, but thank you for calling ahead anyway. It does my heart good to see someone who actually plans ahead and doesn't think the world revolves around them!

Learn to Count and Stuff

Dude, if your doctor says I can give you your Percocet and Oxycontin every 30 days, that's the way it goes. Not day 29. And I'm sorry it pisses you off and I'm sorry the regular guy that you bully isn't in, but it ain't my problem. I take that back. I'm NOT sorry. I don't give a rat's ass. And by the way, you've been picking your pills up every 30 days, so why are you giving ME a fucking problem? Is it becasue you think I don't know how to count? I went to schoool to do this thankless job and one of the things they DEFINITELY covered was how to count to 30!

And while I'm at it, lady, if you want your pills delivered, maybe you should stay home! The driver can't just "leave it between the doors" since then we have no way of knowing if you actually get your pills or they were stolen by the druggie next door. Which they invariably are 'cause then you call and say you didn't get your freaking pills, even thought the driver swears up and down that he dropped them off. And, frankly I believe MY guy, not you!

Not MY fault!

Got a call from a homecare nurse this morning. Complaining that the insulin we sent did'nt fit in the insulin pen. I pulled out the rx and it clearly stated which brand to send. So that's what we sent. Unfortunately, somewhere along the line, the patient was given a different brand of pen. So the insulin cartidge doesn't fit.

The nurse didn't twig to this. Only to the fact that the insulin didn't fit. Which she should have realized as soon as she saw they were 2 different brands. Nope, she tried to force it.

Then, when I explained that the order I got from the doctor stated which brand to send, she said "Well, MY order just says 15 units every morning!" Well la di da lady! Too freakin' bad.

I will send out the other one at my cost. Which has no impact on you, but, since I am not government sponsored, DOES cut into my bottom line.

And I will not be nasty to you because the doctor screwed up. Please stop blaming me, not my fault.

Bitch.

Follow Up

And this morning Mr. "I'm here to pick up the prescription" I asked you to deliver came in again. To pick up the prescription he wasn't home to get. The driver hadn't returned with it yet. Sigh......

Wonderful End to the Day

My last 2 customers today.

First last customer: Can I have my Tylenol 3's now?
Me: No, the doctor has written that you can have them April 12th. Today is April 11th. Come back tomorrow.
Customer: But it's the end of today, can't you just date them for romorrow?
Me: No. Come back tomorrow
Customer: But I live out of town and I am here now....
Me: Sorry, regulations are quite clear on this.
Customer: (tearily) Oh, okay. (walks away disconsolately)

Actual last customer: I'm here to pick up my pills. My name is Bananna.
Me: Do you mean the pills you asked me to deliver? The ones I just gave to the driver 10 minutes ago?
Customer: Yes.
Me: Well, the driver has them and they should be delivered between 7 & 8pm.
Customer: Can't you...(trails off)
Me: The delivery man has your pills. He will deliver them. I guess you should go home so you will be there when he gets there.
Customer: Oh, yeah, I guess so...

What a great way to end the day!