You want WHAT???

I got a call today. Person on the phone wanted an over-the-counter mole removal method or system. When I told him that mole removal was best done by a medical proffessional, he told me that it was "elective and I don't have $600".

I felt like telling him that the most effective method was a really sharp knife. I didn't. But I wanted to. However, professional ethics won out and I told him that there was nothing of the sort available.

A few days before that, a woman wanted to buy some hydrochloric acid because her digestion was off and she read somewhere that she needed more of the acid in her stomach.....

DIN woes

To the makers of Fragmin...you blow! It's bad enough that the boxes of the different strengths are basically the same and only have a stripe of colour to distinguish them. But every strength has the same DIN. Which completely fucks up my computerized billing system. I spent 20 minutes wrestling with my system in order to get my cost reimbursed from ODB. I wound up having to bill for 11 packs to get paid for 3! Because some other idjit has locked up the drug info screen so that I can't adjust the price. Which is locked in at the price for one of the weaker doses. In other words, cheaper.

And the client needs this today. As in actually needs it, not just wants it. I don't have 3 days to wrestle the billing into submission.

The argument for the same DIN for all pack sizes is that it is the same drug in each strength of syringe. Just the quantity varies. As I recall, we had the same problem with insulin when the penfills came out in 1.5ml and 3ml. So the government assigned the 3ml a pseudo-din so that the billing would work. Why can't we do that? All pharmacists would thank you forever.

Dear Doctor

When you fax in a prescription for a narcotic, please make sure you sign it. If you are not going to sign it AND not respond to the fax I sent you politely asking for a signature, do you think it would be possible to put the correct phone number for your office on the damn prescription pad you faxed me?

I bothered some poor woman at home TWICE because you couldn't be bothered to check the new prescription pads for printing errors. Or maybe you are just cheap and figured you'd use them anyway. Which would be fine IF you scratched out the phone number.

While I was struggling with your stupid phone number fiasco to get the damn prescription done legally, your poor patient was sitting, or should I say drooping, in my waiting room, waiting for his much-needed pain meds. That is not good patient care.

Next time, it might be you waiting for your meds. And I probably won't be rushing to fill it ahead of the other poor sods in front of you.

3 days

You should still have 3 days left of your meds, lady. If not, I suggest you call your doctor to give you a tide-me-over prescription for your morphine. Waiting until tomorrow and calling the regular guy is not going to get you another answer....

Ick

Question asked while picking up a prescription,"Do you have any water based massage oil? I don't want to clog up my pores."

Some things, I don't need to know, buddy. I pointed him at the personal lubrication section which has some massage oils and went to wash my hands. Ick.

You want WHAT?

Today I had a lady come in who wanted to buy hydrochloric acid. when asked why, she said that she had "read in a book" that the reason she was getting stomach aches was because her hydrochloric acid levels were too low. She wanted to buy a bottle and drink it!

Oh. My. Gawd.

If that isn't a Darwin Award, I don't know what is!